It’s been a crazy year, and I haven’t been very good at writing in my blog. The good news is, I have squeezed some writing in. I wrote a short story that was changed into a comic by an artist for a comic anthology. It’s coming out next month, and I’ve bought some copies in advance to sell to whoever wants one. But – it’s a very short story, and it was drawn by another person and that’s just one small piece of a bigger anthology with other people’s works. So, it’s very small potatoes. I am excited though to have my name actually put with something I wrote – even if it is so not a big deal. I’ve never even written anything for a school newspaper or anything, so for me it’s exciting. Plus, everything is a learning experience.

I’ve been working a lot, and had a lot of ups and downs this year. I lost two family members within a month of each other,so August was not a good month. It’s one of those things where you’re glad you don’t have to see someone you love suffer anymore, but at the same time it’s like – I really miss them and just wish they hadn’t passed away regardless of the circumstances. So telling yourself they aren’t suffering anymore sometimes just seems like a load of crap. But maybe that’s just a part of the grieving process, to think that all the cliches are just a load of crap.

I turned 30 last month! I was worried about it and feeling  a little bad about myself before, but once it actually came I had a great party, my husband took me hiking out of town the weekend before – and it turned out to be a pretty good birthday. I’m 30 now, so I can quit caring what people think and learn to let the stupid stuff go. Right? I’m an adult. Even though becoming an adult just means you realize that you feel all the same things you felt as a kid, but are expected to act more maturely on those feelings. Well, hopefully I can at least let go of some of the expectations I feel like people put on me. I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or if there actually are those expectations, but for some reason if the expectations are there then I’m definitely not living up to them. My house isn’t always clean (and is usually pretty far from it), I don’t make it to church every week, and we don’t have a baby. That’s just the way it is for now and that’s all there is to it.

Anyways, that’s all the excitement here! Hopefully I’ll get a few more posts in before 2017 sneaks up on us!

It’s been awhile since I’ve written. Things have been going well. I’ve been doing a good amount of reading this year, and trying to follow up with more writing as well. I’ve been working my way through the Harry Potter series for the first time. I know, it’s crazy that I haven’t read it before since I’m really into children’s literature. I finally gave into my husband and picked up the books. After the second one I was hooked. I just started the fifth one recently, and haven’t even gotten to the half way point.

Everytime I’ve picked up the next book in the series, I get annoyed with how one-sided Harry’s perspective of the Dursleys are. It seems like an English thing to make out characters to be total idiots without a redeeming quality in them. All of the characters, good or bad, in the wizard world are complex but the Dursleys are just flat and supposed to be complete fools. Nobody is that simple, unfortunately. So I decided to write a little something from Dudley’s perspective. It only represents him as far as I’ve read, which is the beginning of book 5, but here it is:

Dudley’s Journal Entry:

I know I should love my cousin and even feel sorry for him. His parents died when he was a baby, but all I can be is jealous of him. I’m the lucky one. I was born into a family where both of my parents lived. I am growing up with loads of cash, unlike my poor, pathetic cousin – but I still wish I had his exciting life.

When we were younger I was mostly just jealous at how easily everything came to him. He’s a string bean compared to me, who has a little bit of a spare tire. And even though he doesn’t have parents, people have always seemed to take special attention when it comes to him. Even when people didn’t know he didn’t have parents, they still seemed to randomly just pick him to win raffles or want to meet him.

For being such a big kid, I feel invisible. My family is always pouring all their love and affection on me in front of him. Especially since he got into that “special” school of his. It’s non-stop from my parents about how much they disapprove of him. But, the only time they appreciate what I do is in comparison to Harry. “Great job meeting my boss Dudley, too bad Harry had to go and ruin the whole night anyways.” “Great job on your boxing championship, Dudley, unlike that Potter boy off torturing people with his magic.” I don’t understand why they can’t just appreciate me for me.

You would think it would be fun to have a cousin so close to my age – that we would be like brothers, but from the start he’s never taken an interest in anything I’ve been interested in. Even when I would go out of my way to invite him to play video games, he would stick up his nose at it. Do you know how hard it is to play some games with one person? Or sometimes it’s just boring as crap.

I thought this summer would be better, since I knew he had gotten into his magic sports thing, and I had gotten into boxing. But then as soon as he got home, all he cared about was the stupid news. Is he really so intellectual that he can’t just go out and hang out with my friends. I didn’t even bother asking, because I knew he wouldn’t be in to friends who don’t have magic.

The other thing with Harry is that things always work out for him in the end. He ruins my dad’s dinner with his boss, but then takes off for school like a night later and I’m the one who is left hearing all the complaining and “good riddance” from my dad.

I guess the last thing about all of this is what a bully Harry is. I know I’m the bigger guy, and to anybody else it would seem like some stupid joke. But his favorite thing to do is call me a name, and then when I go to defend myself he threatens to use magic on me. I know he’s not supposed to use it when he’s home for the summer, but I’m living in constant terror. What will he do to me if I look at him the wrong way? Can he read my mind? Is he going to grow up and come after me when he has mastered this whole magic thing? I guess some people are just meant to be the black sheep.

That’s it! Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment below. Just remember I’ve only read to the beginning of book 5, so no spoilers please!!!!!!!! Also I made no attempt to sound English, it was just a fun writing exercise, so don’t judge me for that! 🙂

It’s been a busy season the last few weeks. Saturday we had a family get-together, today I hosted my sister’s baby shower at work, and this weekend I have one more baby shower. Plus Sean is finishing his semester up, so he has Finals and papers. Plus my dogs pee and poop on everything. Plus, every time I get a second to relax I usually just end up falling asleep.

Work has been busy too. There’s supposed to be some changes and I’m supposed to be learning a new position soon. I’m excited for that, but just have lots of loose ends to tie up before that. And I won’t be working with my work buddy as much anymore either. I’ll be moving a whole two cubicles down from her. 😥

The parties have gone well, and I’m excited to become an auntie soon! I’m not sure when my husband and I will start thinking about kids. Probably when he’s done with school, which will be pretty soon. I also want to take a big trip and just enjoy each other for awhile. Ever since we’ve been together he’s been in school, so it’ll be nice to just be able to spend some time together getting the house how we want it and maybe taking some small trips out of town. One day I hope we’ll be on the same work schedule, but for now we’re lucky to have his job even though it means he has to work every weekend.

There’s so many things I want to be as a person. I want to be successful at my job, athletic, a successful writer, a faithful follower of Christ. I want to be clean and organized. I want to be a good cook. I want to have an influence on people. It seems like most of those things aren’t things that happen overnight, but things you work at every chance you get and it just develops as part of you after like ten years of trying to be more disciplined at it.   I make small attempts to grow in all these areas, but I could definitely make bigger attempts in most of them. Maybe tomorrow. Just kidding 😉

I’m also happy to report to anybody who doesn’t know that I’m going to be an aunt two times this year. Once next month when my sister has her baby girl. And once in November when my brother and his wife have their baby. It’ll be fun to get to see them grow up together. I just wish my brother lived closer by so I could see them more. It’ll be fun to see him as a dad though. And to spoil those kids every chance I get!

Anyways, that’s it for me. Anybody else have anything exciting going on?

Have you ever heard the song “Chicken Fried” by the Zac Brown Band? I used to think that song was a little silly – like how he relates military protecting our country to him enjoying the small things like his chicken fried, and a cold beer on a Friday night. Boy do I regret ever thinking that. Wow, are my eyes opened.

Tonight my husband made me a delicious dinner. Cuban sandwiches, and now I understand why the Zac Brown Band loves their chicken fried. I can now die a happy woman because this sandwich was so delicious. I’m not sure why my husband doesn’t cook more, because I tend to cook a little more out of the two of us. But, I guess when he does it’s worth it. My marriage has taken on new meaning because of my delicious dinner. Thanksgiving has been put to shame. Anyways, I hope you’re having a good Monday night. Enjoy your chicken fried!

So a friend was encouraging me to keep writing fiction last night. This is just a short writing exercise, but here it is:

She had her suitcase packed, she was leaving for good this time. This whole past year had been nothing but an embarrassment for her. She had been too shy, then been too rebellious. Why couldn’t she just relax and be herself? When people knew the real her they  liked her, they actually loved her. I know I did. But, I couldn’t tell her to stay. We were both in 8th grade and I obviously also couldn’t let her go, but I had to think of something.

I had seen Carol pack her bags and pretend to run away from home with Bobby in an episode of the Brady Bunch, but I didn’t think that would work with her. What could I say? What could I do?

“Why do you have to leave? If you really want a fresh start, can’t you just change schools?”

“I can’t ask my parents to move so I can switch schools, there’s no way they would go for that.”

“Well… maybe you could pray that they just decide to move on their own,” I suggested. I knew that probably wouldn’t fly that well with her, since she wasn’t into God or prayer, but it was something I believed in, so I had to give it a shot.

“That’s stupid. Why would God care if I run away or switch schools or anything else?”

“You’re right,” I said, “In fact, he probably would just want you to be miserable anyways.” Somehow my reverse psychology/sarcasm could get her thinking sometimes.

“Just give me a week to pray about it, and we can see if your parents want to move or the school spontaneously combusts or something. Can you please make it one more week? You know this week is important to me with the play coming up and all. So you’re just going to feel selfish if you end up ditching me on the biggest week in my middle school life.”

“Fine. One week. One week of me hanging out and talking to you and only you at school. And then, if nothing changes, I will take matters into my own hands.”

That week passed too quickly and too slowly all at the same time. Everyday I was looking for some miracle, something big to happen to let her stay. Not just for her, but for me too. I cared about her a lot, I’m not even sure in which way, but I knew that I would be miserable if she left. Wednesday rolled around and nothing major had happened. Before I knew it it was Thursday evening, the night of my big play. I was a little nervous but also very distracted. What would I do if nothing happened? God had to come through for me or for her in some way. She texted me that she was on her way to the play. I was rehearsing my lines one last time, when suddenly an alarm went off telling everyone to evacuate the school.

We stood in the parking lot having no idea what was going on. There was no way this was a fire drill, not with parents coming so soon to watch the play. A bomb threat maybe?

“Hey what’s going on?” she tapped my shoulder, scaring me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t know, we were just running through our lines when the alarm went off.”
She looked at the ground playing with her feet.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone,” Principal Schultz said. “I was doing our annual inspection of the building, when they told me that we have termites. I asked if we could at least hold off on evacuating the school until tomorrow afternoon, but they said there was no way they could let it go on for two more days without reporting it to the city. So, unfortunately, our school is officially closed for the time being. Classes are cancelled tomorrow – we will update all of your parents as to what you will need to do as soon as we figure it out. For now, please go home.”

A wave of relief washed over me. Termites! It may not have been a spontaneous combustion, but hopefully this would be the answer I was waiting for!

I was watching Gilmore Girls this week with my husband. It was an episode where Rory’s ex-boyfriend Jess shows up to see Rory. He’s a high school drop out that she hasn’t seen in awhile, and comes to tell her that he’s written a book and is working in a small publishing company that a guy he knows started. As I watched, I let out a sigh and my husband asked what was wrong (yes I am that dramatic). I asked how he – a high school drop out and bum in the earlier episodes- wrote a book and is working in publishing. I mean, I’m an averagely motivated person. I could be more driven and focused, but I do try hard and come back to pursuing the things I want over and over again. I haven’t written a book. I don’t have a job working for a small publisher. He just rolled his eyes at me and told me it was just a TV show.

I know it’s just a show, but it’s so frustrating to see things on TV that don’t seem like a real possibility in life. Who do all these jobs go to? How do they even get there? In the movie Postgrad also starring Alexis Bleidel, she gets super frustrated because she’s worked hard in college and can’t get a job after. That was my life! That was the life of most of my friends. Unlike Alexis Bleidel, however, it didn’t end with us getting our dream jobs after a tough summer. Instead you work and work and work and life still seems like an unclear path. And this is true for, I think, the majority of people. You go through college, working hard, excited about your future and what you’re studying and then when you get out, all the structure you’ve had for the last 16 years is out the window. There’s no clear cut, do this and get an A. A lot of my friends who have the careers they worked hard for in college aren’t even happy in those careers. So, I guess I’m stumped. I don’t know how Alexis Bleidel can do it in Gilmore Girls and Postgrad. I guess it’s my own fault for not going to Chilton and Yale like Rory.

How do you feel about your job? Did school prepare you for this? Is there a career you want but have no idea how to get to?

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. Yes, I know, that’s the understatement of the year.

I don’t have anything in particular to say, but was just looking at my blog and thought I’d check in. Since the last time I blogged, I’ve gotten married and bought a house! And we got a dog named Sushi.

I guess I’m at a bit of a holding place (isn’t that what people say?) as far as pursuing all of my dreams in life goes. I took a couple classes and thought about pursuing Physical Therapy – but am at least on hold with that, but may not pick it back up. I still want to write or edit or own a bookstore one day, but I guess I just don’t know the best path (or any) to follow to do that. So, this is me attempting to write again.

i guess that’s all for now.  🙂     😛        I’d love to hear any comments or feedback on writing/editing or anything else for that matter.